Friday, June 22, 2007

Preserving Your Chi

Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me let’s talk about the Half Ironman I’m doing tomorrow. Okay so that’s not how the Salt ‘n Pepa song really goes but that was the idea behind the June issue of Inside Triathlon. Come on, admit it. You picked up the Sex Issue just like everyone else. We’re human, sex sells. You may not agree with the marketing department at Inside Tri or Triathlon Magazine but they are in the business of selling issues. How can you not be curious when the cover looks like this.

Now did you actually go beyond the pictures and read the articles? Or is that argument reserved for only Playboy magazine? I felt that the articles were interesting and informative. Aimee and I were quite interested in the sub-article on page 52, “An Alternative for Abstinence”.

Scientifically there are theories that abstaining from sex raises the testosterone levels in both men and women. For some sports they say that is good because aggressiveness is linked to testosterone, especially when you are dealing with something like boxing or football.

But does triathlon need all that extra testosterone? Just look around in transition before the race begins. If the sight of all the scantily clad, buff and tanned athletes doesn’t raise your levels of testosterone you are way too focused on the race. You are missing one of the best parts about celebrating the human body and triathlon.

And how aggressive does one need to be for a triathlon? The true nature of the sport is to compete as an individual….you against the clock or distance. Okay so the swim start can resemble the scrum at a rugby match but other than that, how aggressive do you need to be. At races greater than the Olympic distance it’s all about being steady, reserved, consistent, and under control. Go out too aggressive at an Ironman and you may have a long day. Be too conservative at a sprint and you will be left on the beach sipping a pina colada.

Now Chinese theory states that each individual has a central energy store, or Chi. Everything comes from this same source of energy or life force. A contributor to the article says that in men, sperm is part of the ultimate life force, the essence that the body uses to heal injuries or a person (men in this case) needs to perform at their best. Sorry ladies, they didn’t mention anything about your Chi. However, women are the ultimate life force with their ability to give birth…..but I digress.

Professional triathlete and U.S. Olympic hopeful, Matt Reed, shared his own candid views on this topic. He doesn’t feel it helps or hinders a person’s race day performance. He admitted to race morning intimacy since pro races are often held in the afternoon. Now most age group races start in the early morning and a quick romp in the sack may not work out. I would say two days prior to the race is when you should avoid the two hour marathon sex sessions.

Wait a minute…..was that a huge collective groan I just heard from the women? It can happen…..conditions just need to be right. You know…the moon has to be in retrograde to Venus only when the fourth moon of Saturn in on the dark side….blah…blah….blah. IT COULD HAPPEN!!

Aimee and I read this article right before my Half Iron at Racing for Recovery. She knew how important this race was to me. She wanted me to perform at my best. She didn’t want me to “loose” any of my Chi. Do you see where this is going?!?! ABSTINENCE PEOPLE! How is this good? I have trouble dealing with this theory. Do you know that prolonged abstinence leads to this and this. How am I supposed to ride a bike for 2.5 hours with this between my legs? Is it going to simply make me go faster so I can release the Chi I don’t use during the race post race? When was the last time you were able to “perform” after completing a half or full Ironman race? STOP! You don’t have to answer that….rhetorical question….I really don’t want to know.

As if training doesn’t take enough time away from spending intimate moments with our significant others, now we have to deal with abstinence before races. Good gracious what have we gotten ourselves into with this triathlon stuff?

So I have come to the following conclusion….preserving Chi equals this.

Chi On.

3 comments:

Bolder said...

hey, dude.

stay out of my magazines!

SkiRough said...

The majority of these hyperlinks I dare not click. (shudder)

Rick said...

dude, I think you need to get laid! ;-) Chi on, baby......