Friday, August 06, 2010

Friday Funny - Can you handle the truth?

Truths For Mature Humans

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.......Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.....know what I mean dumb ass

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? I can do this one.

6. Was learning cursive really necessary? My printing is bad enough.

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. Back to Number 3.

10. Bad decisions make good stories. And interesting police reports.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. My brother can probably relate to this one.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. Our freezer has a light.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.


Ladies.....Quit Laughing. Eventually. ;-D

Have a fun filled weekend.

4 comments:

MissFit Island said...

That was HILARIOUS!

I don't even know where to begin!

#5-I know how to fold a fitted sheet. There is a trick and I can make it look like it just came out of the store package I'm that good at it.

#8-I've always thought that too!

#11-Tell me about it. On Friday's it is usually before noon.

#19-I wook with a bunch of mumblers. I believe the appropriate answer is 2 unless you are on a cell phone then it can be 3.

#20-There is much construction near my house. I see this camaraderie every day. Way to unite neighbors!

#22-Glad I'm not the only one that happend to.

#24-Saved the best for last. I'm still on the floor laughing :-)

Christi said...

A great post!

Linda said...

I love it! I'm laughing at my computer at work right now. I love the one about looking at your watch and still not knowing the time. I do that all the time.

Rickster said...

glad I was slacking at work today and read this, thanks Eric!
:-)