Friday, November 03, 2006

Family and Friends Friday – The Voices in My Head

I’m c-c-c-c-c-c-cold.

Brain: Who said that?

Toes: It’s us. Down here. We are very cold.

Brain: I’m sorry. But we needed to get in a bike ride and I am trying to avoid the trainer in the basement.

Chest: I’m fine.

Hands: Sure! You are the one hogging all the warm blood.

Chest: Hey….without the lungs and heart pumping O2 and blood around you would be NOTHING!

Brain: Calm down everyone. Who else is not happy with this bike ride?

Face: I’m f-f-f-f-f-freezing.

Crotch: Wind chill will do that too ya. I’m glad we put on bike shorts and the Firewall tights. It’s colder than a wizards balls in a brass jock strap.

Chest: I thought it was “Colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra”?

Brain: Watch your language! This is a family blog.

Crotch: I’m just calling it like I feel it.

Legs: I’m doing well.

Feet: Of course. You are at least moving. Can you send some of the blood past the ankles?

Eyes: I wish you had put on the clear lense glasses. I’m watering up here. What’s the stuff in the headlight beam. That better not be snow.

Brain: That’s snow alright. Some of that great lake effect stuff coming off Lake Erie.

Toes: We are all cold down here. When will this end?

Brain: Winter just started so it may get warm again after March.

Toes: We mean this stupid bike ride.

Hands: We are starting to warm up. Actually pretty comfortable now.

Brain: The schedule called for 1:15 but I won’t let it go that long.

Face: Are we heading west again? This wind is strong.

Brain: West it is. I’m sorry we didn’t cover you enough face. You will be fine.

Face: C-c-c-c-an’t m-m-m-m-m-ove l-l-l-l-ips.

Brain: Okay let’s turn back, we’ve been out for about 30 minutes.

Eyes: That’s better with the wind at our back. I’m not watering now.

Butt: Great for you but now I get to freeze my…um….my….oh you know what I mean. I’m freezing off right now.

Brain: We will be back in about 20 minutes. I’ll take some shortcuts going home. Toes you hanging in there?

Brain: Toes?

Toe (small one left foot): The big guys are very cold. We better get home soon. Lo-o-o-o-o-osing consciousnessssssssssss.

Brain: Will someone remind me to use the toe warmers next time?

Chest: This has been a great ride.

Brain: You have to stick with me guys. I’m trying to avoid the trainer as long as possible. Even in the middle of winter we will be riding outdoors on the trails.

Hands: I think I speak for everyone that as long as we are bundled up we are in for the riding.

Brain: Good because I talked to Linda about riding at Findley State Park again this year.

Legs: Cool, those are great trails.

Chest: That gives the lungs a good workout.

Crotch: Just avoid the sudden bumps that kick the saddle into the “boys”.

Brain: I for one like riding like this. Bundled up, headlight and blinkie going. People in the warm cars wondering what the heck I’m doing out in weather like this.

Eyes: Does anyone know the temperature right now?

Butt: You should know! You’re the one who looked at the thermometer before we left.

Eyes: But I don’t know what it means smelly!

Butt: You take that back.

Brain: You two better pipe down. The temperature is 32F. Hey everyone. We made it back home. 50 minutes and 12.6 miles. Great ride.

Brain: So everyone out there in the Blog-o-Sphere…….what’s preventing you from going out and getting your Game On?


Jodi said...

I think you pretty much summed up what has me inside on the trainer for 2.5 hours tomorrow. I've spent so much money on triathlon that I don't have a drop left for winter cycling attire. Trainer it is!


TriSaraTops said...


That is a RIOT.

Way to get out there--screw the cold! As long as you can, at least!

JenC said...

I was out on Saturday on my bike. Cool, but not too cold. I'm going to get out on the weekends as long as I can.

Game on!

qcmier said...

Too funny. What’s preventing you from going out and getting your Game On? I could post some more cankle photos.

Cliff said...


My old pair supports are gone and waiting for two new pairs. Do my run on the dreadmill instead outside.

Bike wise, I bike outside too. But the weather hasn't reach as cold as where you are.

Pixie said...

Oh. My. Gosh. I haven't laughed that hard in weeks. LOL!!!!!!!!! Thanks, that was a perfect way to end my work week.

Great ride!


trifrog said...

I remember being like that. I've become a freeze-baby now to justify the expense of the treadmill and computrainer. Neither of which am I currently using either ;(

But doesn't your trainer call out in loneliness?

Sara said...

Fabulous!!! Too Funny!!!!